On this season of Entourage!

 A few years ago, seven to be exact, the world was a place that a person could float freely in without ever having to hear the best (and also worst) Jane's Addiction song ever recorded every Sunday night. But then, Doug Ellin (pictured)

along with his best bros Marky Mark, Hooch, Turner, Grey Balls and Zach created the best show that Television has ever been lucky enough to air. If I have to spell it out for you, I will. E-n-t-o-u-r-a-g-e, or as hardcore fans call it, "the raj".

 Since it's first spectacular episode, Entourage has changed the way people think about celebrity by showcasing the life of Vince Chase, a Queens boy with a magic cock and smile who lucked into being an A-list actor. Vince, who is portrayed with grace and dignity by the guy from that movie with Sabrina The Teenage Witch, is just a Queens boys at heart. At first, Hollywood is super scary so he brings all of his best friends with him so they can all drive around and do stuff everyday together.  They have driven all the way from Marina Del Rey to Beverly Hills and sometimes even drive to the valley! There is always lots of driving in an Entourage episode, infact, the show is 39% driving, 58% Vince having sex in a closet, 92% Jeremy Pivon trying to prove hard that he is a lot more that John Cusacks friend, but indeed can hold his own as a total fuck face and 15% cameos from the shittiest seeming Hollywood people. Yes, the boys of "the raj" have touched most Americans in a way that only once in every six generations Americans get touched in, showing us that celebs are just like us, only they have better luck and like tattoo t-shirts more.

 Each episode of Entourage is like opening a stocking on Christmas morning. "What's Turtle gonna do?" I ask myself and then laugh with delight when he falls for a babe who likes sneakers. Why? Because Turtle ALSO LIKES SNEAKERS!

The real drama is always brought by Drama (lol) the older brother of Vince. He is played by a half Ape man and really doesn't understand "the gays". Don't be fooled by his panic attacks though, Drama has a heart made of pure satin and he won't die anytime soon! Just kidding he dies in the last episode!

 Of course this season is to be the last hurrah for the boys. It is with a heavy heart that I will watch these last eight episodes, but I know that my heart will lighten a bit, for Entourage is always full of light-hearted hijinks!

 Since I am the biggest fan of Entourage I got a special package sent to me in the postbox containing a box of Whitmans Classic chocolates, two free passes for a dog show, and the last eight episodes of Entourage. Yes, I lied when I said I will watch them with a heavy heart because I have already watched them! Hahaha! And they are great! I don't want to give away too much, but like a person who has done a huge shit, I just have to show someone before I flush. Here and now are some of the miracles that will happen on the last season of Entourage!

Spoiler Alert! This is a bunch of spoilers!


*Vince gets Herpes. This one shouldn't surprise most of us "Raj' heads" since Vince has tons and tons of sex with waitresses, shopgirls, porn stars, moms, bats, fairies and cans of tuna fish. So him finally getting what I assume everyone who "relates" to the show already has isn't a big shock. But wait! He gets it in his mind! Yes. "Brain Herpes", a brand new form of sexually transmitted autism is found in Vince's brain! Don't worry though, guys. He gets a super cool Ed Hardy hat that transmits waves of soothing chamomile vibes directy into his brain, making him not only disease free, but giving him more cache' as an actor who has survived a major illness!


*E buys a nice watch! It's a great five minutes when E goes to the Tag store, buys a new watch, and guess who helps him pick it out? Jerry O'Connel! It's great to see those guys hit it off!

*Lloyd sits on a whoopie cushion.

 *In the final episode -

-Vince hosts the AVN Awards and announces that he is a porn star.

-Turtle gets eaten by lions at a Dallas Cowboys game.

-Drama takes a fuck load of viagra and gets such a big boner that he dies.

-Ari and Lloyd get married so that Ari can always make fun of Lloyd for being gay and also fuck him.

- E takes some mushrooms and jumps out of his office window. When he awakens in Cedar Sinai hospital, the whole world has changed. There is no Ed Hardy, no fake tits and no champange parties. Confused and unsure if he is truly awake, he calls Vince, but Vince doesn't answer. He calls Drama, but gets his voicemail.

 After calling Ari and getting a Mexican fast food restaurant, he drives all night to the forest that he dreamt of as a boy. There, in the forest, is Garth, a tall, godlike man with the lower body of a horse. He gives E a ride to the abyss. There E stands looking in and asks "If I stare into the Abyss does it also stare back at me?"

All is black

E suddenly sees the city of Bev Hills in flames. He falls to his knees and screams asking God for help.

God makes a super sweet cameo and tells E that the time for sweet pussy parties has passed and it's time for him to find new friends. E agrees and after a long, heartfelt hug with God, he returns to Los Angeles, where Vince and Turtle have been waiting for him to give them a ride to Drama's funeral. With tears in his eyes, E hands Vince his car keys and says,...

"Christopher Robin left Winnie the Pooh, and my good friends, I must leave you too."

The series ends on a high note.