Classified Ads

I've always been a fan of classifed ads, here are some of my favorite finds!

 

$500 / 1br - 900ft² - APT. FOR RENT NEAR COLLEGE (City College)


Date: 2011-08-27, 11:41AM MST
Reply to: *******************************[Errors when replying to ads?]



I HAVE A VERY NICE ONE BEDROOM, ONE BATHROOM APT. FOR RENT NEAR THE COLLEGE IN KINGMAN. SOME UTILITYS ARE INCLUDED. APT. IS IN A VERY SAFE LOCATION. THIS WOULD BE A PERFECT PLACE FOR A YOUNG COUPLE STARTING OUT OR A SINGLE PERSON. THE RENT IS 500.00 A MONTH WITH A SPECIAL 1/2 PRICE SECURITY DEPOSIT OF 250.00. THE GHOST BOY IN THE PICTURE IS NAMED CLANCY. HE LOOKS MORE SCARY THAN HE REALLY IS, THOUGH, HE HATES DOGS SO THAT IS WHY I SAY NO DOGS. CLANCY IS JUST A LITTLE SLICE OF ANOTHER TIME REPLAYING HIMSELF IN A DARK, SHITTY APARTMENT, SO DON'T BE A DICK TO HIM. HE HAS NEVER BITEN OR EVEN RAPED.  IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO VIEW THIS APT. OR HAVE ANY QUESTIONS PLEASE CALL ME AT-88888888888 APT. IS VACANT AND READY TO RENT!

 

Prefer TINY Lady for Marriage - 64


Date: 2011-08-27, 8:05PM PDT
Reply to***************************


All ladies are tiny to me though, that is the funny thing! Even a big fat Bertha would be small to a biggo like I am!
I am a immigrant from Europe who has done well. God bless America!
I spent most of my working life in Asian and love the culure and people,
Looking for a lady to be my life partner and hopefully marriage. Please love traveling, dining, movies, be active and reasonably attractive and fit. I have been retired for years and want someone to enjoy the good life with. Someone to make me smile, and be devoted to each other's happiness. Nothing less will do! I am 7'1, 500 lbs., monogamous, non-smoker, no tattoos and don't gamble. I am attractive, very big man. I am a homeowner and financially secure, I also own a boat and have some old women who keep it tidy for me. I believe in honesty from the beginning, which is why I will tell you why I dug up my dead wife. Please, like you, I am not interested in playing games...unless it's scramble, which is like scrabble but with eggs! Sorry, I do like a joke or one.

Please send a little about you and a photo. I will respond with a photo and lots of stuff about me. Please change the subject line in your reply to "TINY LADY"

***Graco Travel Lite Crib*** white - $45 (Tucson )


Date: 2011-08-27, 10:39AM PDT
Reply to: *********************


EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT Condition!!!

SUPER CLEAN...smoke and puke free home. Was only used a few times.

All parts still attached and has a cover for easy travel.
 
Never used for baby only for  my Grandma's bats.
 

 
 


 

$350 / 110ft² - Vegetarian Peace House room


Date: 2011-08-27, 1:04PM PDT
Reply to: ***************************



Room in vegetarian peace house in North Portland. We are intergenerational, purple, mixed gender. $150 deposit. All utilities included.



Pregnant girl at kmart monday - m4w - 28


Date: 2011-07-26, 2:19AM CDT
Reply to: ****************


I was parked next to u on my buell u were driving a green mini van and were very very pregnant. U were buying a baby doll and I asked u if u were getting it for practice.

I loved your smile and you smell amazing. Please get ahold of me if u are her!

PS. Put the name u told me u were naming your baby as subject so I know u are real.

Hope to hear from you!

Location: kmart

 

$335 bedroom


Date: 2011-08-27, 10:41PM MST
Reply to: *******


Master bedroom w/bath in a fucking cool macmansion in Scottsdale BITCHES.
Furnished or not. Dolls or not....GF loves dolls, she makes em', gives me the creeps but whatever.
Clean, quiet and safe neighborhood.
Overnight guests allowed once per week max! I don't want 2 people sharing a room or another roomate..
If you have a fuckbuddy stay at their house...Me and Amber hardly ever fuck and when we do it's mad quite.
Share house with me, Todd, a buff ass killer and my fine ass lady Amber.
Patio, jacuzzi, barbecue, washer, dryer and AC kept at 79 in the summer.

We love to party but only on the tweekend, I sell fucking sweet cars during the week and Amber needs a shitload of sleep cause she is on some serious meds for her brain being weird and all.


$335 per month includes utilities and wireless internet.