Movie remakes

 It seems like everytime a good movie is made, Hollywood gives it ten or twenty years (or a year in the case of good foreign films) and remakes it. Sometimes it works out "okay", but never ever have I seen a remake be better than the original.

 The other day, when I heard that Russell Brand would be taking on Dudley Moore's (Oscar nominated) role of Arthur for a sure to be terrible remake, my heart broke. Really Hollywood? Just because he is English, you think he can replace Dudley Moore? You think that kids today are too dumb to watch the original, that they have to be spoon fed old ideas in pretty new packages?

 Well, maybe kids today are too dumb to like movies like the original Arthur, the 80's Nightmare on Elm Street or the 70's Omen. So what? They aren't getting any cooler or smarter by seeing shitty remakes of these movies. I've had the idea before that Hollywood should stop remaking good movies like "Oldboy" and start remaking shitty movies to get it right this time. Would I pay money to see what the Apatow camp does with "Revenge of the Nerds"? Hell no, but I would pay double price to see a Martin Scorsese version of "Showgirls".

 I know it's of no use, I can complain and talk about how dumb movie remakes are all day and they will still keep pumping them out, why? Because Hollywood has no faith in original ideas and once something works they bash it into your head until it just doesn't work anymore (i.e Neve Campbell). So I figure, if you can't beat em', join em'. Here are my ideas for movie remakes and the stars that would recast the actors that once made the movies worth watching.

Because what was always missing from "Breakfast at Tiffany's" was slurred speech and a nip-slip or ten.


 Betty White is hot right now, why not Angela Lansbury?

Richard Gere made it sexy, but Jackie Earl Haley can make it creepy.

This wouldn't be so much a remake as a "what if"? What if Sid didn't stab Nancy and O.D on herion and they both lived long and happy lives?

David Spade and Eugene Levy in "Midnight Cowboy". That was great movie, but I think most people agree that there just weren't enough yucks in the original.

The only thing that made that movie any good was Dolly Parton. Why not remake it and let her play most of the roles?

The poster doesn't explain that it would be a muppet of Ed Asner.


Heathers is one of my favorite movies and I love my cats Sasha and Dudley. I think most everyone would like to see them replace Christian Slater and Winona Ryder in the remake that strays pretty far from original. Instead of teen suicide it's now a dark comedy about jumping onto window frames and sleeping.

When I hear the tag-line;

"Being the adventures of a young man ... who couldn't resist pretty girls ... or a bit of the old ultra-violence ... went to jail, was re-conditioned ... and came out a different young man ... or was he ?"

I think Justin Bieber is the only star with the chops, and singing skills, to take on the role of Alex.